014 – Cold Metal in my Hand

Cold Metal in my Hand

I’m trembling.  Both physically and mentally.  
This is genuinely terrifying.  
I feel the weight in my hand, the cold metal in my palm. 
I’m torn tween exhilaration and crying

I raise my hand, surprised again at how unwieldy it feels
Feel the pressure gainst the side of my head 
It’s time.  I need to do this.  I’ve suffered too long. 
But my mind is filled with fear and dread

But as I stand there, staring intently at the tired face in the mirror 
I have a question for the face I see reflected there 
Should it really be so hard, should it be so tough for me
To use these clippers to cut my own hair.  

(c) Michael Gurner – May 2020

Leave a Reply