UK’s reputation plummets Overriding the ECHR And the world can see that we are Truly idiot destroyers of progress Standing alone at the summit This peak of moronic intent Morals and integrity spent Where we go next is anyone’s guess Then just when it appeared to be That our madness could not be trumped The states think they might have us stumped Our lead may not be unassailable The Supreme Court in the ‘land of the free’ Overturns Roe v Wade and shows They’re back in front, albeit by a nose And they have more inhumanity available
I was asked to write something about the solstice for an appearance yesterday at the Buckingham Literary Festival, and while I don’t have video of the performance, I thought I’d share the lyrics, as they made me chuckle when I was putting it together. We just don’t think of others enough when we carry out our rituals!
What is it, with you people and your sunlight? What is it, makes you start to act like loons? What is it, makes you get all weird and worshipy? Each year around the 21st of June The longest day? Well let me tell you something. This solstice fetish drives me outa my mind You’d hate this daylight mania If you were born in Transylvania So stick your solstice where the sun don’t shine Yes the solstice to a vampire’s Like green kryptonite to superman Like hairdressers to Samson Salt to slugs Like nuts to those with allergies Like sharks to those who surf Like moths to haute coutore Spiders to bugs What is it, with you people and your monuments? Why is it, that they’re lined up with the sun? What is it, makes you gather at the sunrise? Each year, when all the longer nights are done? The longest day? Well let me tell you something. This solstice fetish drives me outa my mind Though I’m sure you’d find it hard to, Spare a thought for Nosferatu And stick your solstice where the sun don’t shine Yes the solstice to a vampire’s Like red wine to brand new carpet Like erections at the doctors Jokes to wakes Like drunk girls to karaoke Like drunk boys to, well anything Like rust to aging boats Pirhanas to lakes What is it, with you people and your rituals? What is it, makes you start to act all strange? What is it, makes you dance and sing and copulate? In ways that seem increasingly deranged? The longest day? Well let me tell you something. This solstice fetish drives me outa my mind At your midsummer spectaculars Spare a thought for dear old Dracula And stick your solstice where the sun don’t shine Yes the solstice to a vampire’s Like a virus to a laptop Like silver bullets to a werewolf Mould to bread Like acne to a teenager Like slugs to finest lettuce Like cheetahs to gazelles Guillotiné to head The longest day? Well let me tell you something. This solstice fetish drives me outa my mind Save my kind from all this dread Spare a thought for the undead And stick your solstice where the sun don’t shine Yes, stick your solstice where the sun don’t shine
The Sixty Second Scribe (and current Bard of Stony Stratford) is a special guest at the Scribal Gathering Showcase at The Crown in Stony Stratford, on the 7th June 2022 as part of StonyLive! A 20 minute set of mainly new material, beautifully filmed by Ian Newman, hosted by Jonathan JT Taylor and with sound by Duncan Carter.
The Sixty Second Scribe takes a look at the latest dead cat to be thrown on the dinner table, and while he recognises it for just what it is, he also considers that it might just serve a purpose. It’s difficult to say for sure, but even the supine nature of the British public must have a limit somewhere. Surely?
For more literary tiers poems, click here
The Sixty Second Scribe talks of hope, inspiration, beards and jam making while referencing a Human League song, for reasons that pretty much nobody will understand, but that make him smile. I have a sneaking feeling that will be the only time someone references those four things in a single sentence today, although I guess stranger things have happened. Anyway – this is The Sound of the Crowd.
For more from this series, go here
The Sixty Second Scribe shares a bewildering experience where a friend who he had previously had a great deal of respect for, showed herself to be more than a bit bizarre in her political approach. And left him scratching his head a great deal. And swearing a lot. Although only once in here. So do you really know where you are with Johnson?
The Sixty Second Scribe takes a minute or two to look over the goings on in Glasgow and has a question or two to ask about the motives of many of those involved. Is it Good COP, or Bad COP?
For more from this series, go here
The Sixty Second Scribe shares his genuine disgust at the actions of our prime minister in relation to a simple piece of cloth. His infantile refusal to follow even the most basic of rules, and the appalling example that sets to others in the country, suggests we’re in for a very long fight against this disease.
For more from this series click here
A look at the topic that’s got twitter’s knickers in a twist this week, as our delightful government decide to vote down an amendment requiring our water companies to make steps towards reducing the amount of raw sewage that they chuck into our rivers, lakes and seas. Crazy anarchists we might be, but I don’t think that’s all that crazy an idea.