Picture the scene – it’s two days before the 2019 General Election – never has more been at stake, at least not in my lifetime, and a man steps up to the microphone to speak in front of a crowded room…
Thanks to Scribal Gathering for the gig, thanks to the delightful Caz Tricks for the filming, the shushing and the general gobby agreement. Obviously things didn’t go quite as we’d hoped, but two years on, looking back, there’s not much that I wouldn’t say again in just the same way.
We didn’t win two world wars to be pushed around by a kraut? I’ve tried and tried to understand but I can’t work it out Leave.eu? Shame on you. Brexit party Shame on you too If you think maybe that’s just not nice? Just google fucking Richard Tice. Founder of one, chair of the other Supporting one is supporting the other You are allowing this to happen.
Two world wars and one World Cup? Spouted again today One World Cup? I almost don’t know what to say Since the heady days of Hurst’s hat trick We’ve reached zero finals The Germans? Six. What sort of boast is that?
Boasting about a single victory From fifty five years ago Just shows how much they’ve achieved since And how far we’ve still to go
But it’s quite a good example I guess Of how we’ve ended up in all this mess Stupid attachments to former so-called glories Fed out daily to wannabe Tories
Trump over the pond and Johnson here Lying seemingly without fear And yet they continue to get support? They lie and they lie and they lie and they lie Yet still in the polls they fly and fly
Make no mistake We know how this ends Blaming the ‘other’ Will hurt us all in the end
Watching the rise of the Nazis on telly Seeing the jostling for power Challenging status quo’s, laws and principles Dismantling structures hour by hour Their names lost to history Their games in the embers Just paving the ways For the names that we remember
If you ramp up emotions against the other You win In the short term But we all lose in the long term
When they get their way And things don’t improve Who gets the blame then And how long before it’s you
Every line crossed, no longer surprised No shamed resignations, no guilt in their eyes But what makes me fear for the future my dears Is I don’t have a clue where the fuck we go from here
And hiding somewhere just out of sight Is the unspoken fear at the rise of the right That there aren’t any limits to what they’ll explore And that soon we’re in Syria fighting Johnson’s new war Flying the flag and killing for fun Democracy lost behind the barrel of a gun If that still seems unlikely, I’d say with regret, You’re not really paying attention just yet
Unless it’s a weekend When they take place at four For reasons I can’t quite fathom But I’m prepared to ignore
Standing three astride A podium a piece The politician ‘tween the scientists To announce the deceased
Worst Kraftwerk Tribute Ever
‘We’ve carried out x many thousands of tests’ As if that were meaningful data But tests done is dictated by test kits we had So that won’t help us manage this later
I’m willing them on, hoping beyond hope That they’ll rise and step up to the plate But each day they manage to fail once again Increasing my concern for our fate
Johnson, Hancock and Gove taking turns All looking like scared little boys Desperate to get to the end of their slot Lest their cover gets blown midst the noise
Rushing to end each briefing Survival the only goal Getting through it the only measure of success Then retreating away from the proles
Every successfully evaded point That you see as some mark of success Erodes even further our weak trust in you Which serves to exacerbate this mess
Will you apologise minister? To the people who stand in harms way Without the protection that should keep them safe But who stand unprotected today
On day one you couldn’t be held responsible But the first time you stood ‘fore the nation And said it had all been sorted. Then it’s on you now, whatever the duration.
You didn’t answer that way because it was true You answered that way to deflect blame That’s the game you usually play But this is no longer a game
People want to trust you – they need to They need to know that you’ve got this But day by day, trust is slipping away And you’re stepping ever closer to the abyss
When you lie, People die. And they die in your name When your policies are tailored to protect your lies, more people die Because this is no longer a game
Unable to admit to the problems we face Else the lies will soon start to unwind But they’re really beginning to look rather thin And we know what we’re likely to find
People don’t have the PPE – What are you doing? Today alone we’ve shipped fifty million A meaningless answer to a different question That diminishes you in the eyes of every civilian
Hancock said PPE was sorted again and again To make all the questioning stop But you cannot deny now that each time, he lied And he should be next in line for the drop
You stand up and boast that there’s still spare capacity But frankly I’m appalled that you have the audacity As daily we read of the care homes in tragedy People denied hospital, evidence of your mendacity
In any other environment, this would be gaslighting People come to you with serious questions and concerns You dismiss them and explain that it’s no longer a problem And they shouldn’t believe what they’ve learned.
Our journalists asking multiple questions Each and every time it’s their turn Which allows the answers to be evaded And I’m praying to god they soon learn.
There, for our delectation Each and every day Are the failings in our democracy And the games that our politicians and media play
Here’s a question I’d like you to ask And I’d like you to ask it right now Why are you not sharing deaths in the community As soon as the data allows?
The scientists debasing themselves everyday To bring credibility to the politicians While the politicians are delighted in every way To be able to share their inquisition
These experts have clearly been trained To play your little media game Media training? Discussion framing? Not answering questions’ their aim
It’s like the worst bits of the apprentice Which is all of the apprentice by the way The lack of sincerity in their voices Would be laughable were there not such a price to pay
Did they miss the ‘faking sincerity’ Module of their media training? When Gove and Patel speak I can feel my trust further draining
We’ve no idea how many have this thing now Nor how many have had it before We simply don’t have the information we need And no plan for how we get more
I’m scared because it doesn’t seem true that Decisions are being based on what’s best For the nation or our NHS But on what supports the lies already told throughout this unrest
Take it on the chin – let it move through us all Which absenting vaccine or treatment regime Is where we might end up But for that to be your first option is frankly obscene
We need herd immunity – Sage advice indeed But that can’t be a policy aim As we don’t even know if immunity is guaranteed So we’d lose hundreds of thousands in vain.
This nation led its government In this time of disaster When the nation deserves to be led By a qualified master
Where we should have been closing down And people confined to their digs Instead we had the Cheltenham festival And Stereophonics gigs
We can’t take action yet Not enough of you are dying We have to fill the hospitals Before we actually start trying
Our breakout came later which meant that Our action should have come quicker But we waited and waited and dithered with guidance And sadly now people are sicker
Ten thousand dead? But that isn’t all The ONS stats suggest double The fact that they’re not sharing community deaths Suggests that we’re in for more trouble
Test, test and test again Is the WHO advice Test, isolate and trace contacts But we’ve decided to roll our own dice
So it turns out that when it comes to the crunch And the need for strong leadership is clear That there’ll be vagueness, weak advice and a lack of clear rules Which is literally killing us here
Stay two metres apart Say the three wise men or women true Who are not standing Two metres apart Do as we say. Not as we do.
I’m really struggling to believe that Under a right wing Tory prime minister I’m wishing for him to be more draconian In the rules he needs to administer
To see how the world is responding to this And then plough your own furrow could be brave But if it’s based on nothing more than covering your own backs You’ll be sending thousands more to their graves
The financial assistance that’s been offered sounded great But under scrutiny looks decidedly less so And millions quickly lost jobs and will suffer As companies preferred to sack than furlough
Loans might help in some cases But it relies on companies putting their future profits Ahead of their employees present So beware of false prophets
Millionaire bosses throwing staff to the wolves And cocking a snook to protestors Then taking the money the government gives And handing it straight to Investors
How worrying it is to realise That personal circumstance leaves you prone Newly self-employed? Well I’m sorry to say That there’s no help for you, you’re on your own.
I’m lucky – I know that I’ll be alright But there’s millions not as lucky as I And the government just says ‘sorry – you don’t fit our model’ Compassionate conservatism? It’s hard to deny.
All of the assumptions that underlie Our economic model laid bare And found to be lacking when push comes to shove As there’s really not much substance there
How can they do it? We hear people cry When the toilet roll hoarders arrive Yet the hoarding of money is seen as a virtue While others find it hard to survive
There are Millions now in genuine need But the distribution of resources is so screwed And help from those who have millions doesn’t seem to be guaranteed Hoarders they are, just of money not food
It won’t stop me shaking hands Johnson proclaims with a smile Just as Trump stares directly at a solar eclipse How ridiculous, contemptible and juvenile
What you say really matters, you appalling man People’s behaviour will be led by your words So this blustering fool that you choose to portray Is dangerous, obscene and absurd
A lying newspaper columnist in charge Seasoned at playing the buffoon So out of his depth as he blusters around Believing himself to be immune
So little trust in our minister prime Who’s lied his way right to the pinnacle That if he’d faked his positive test Nobody would be surprised, we’re that cynical
Years of demonising experts and truth Are suddenly shown in high contrast With the urgent requirement for people to trust And respond for as long as this lasts
Rejecting EU help, as our doctors and nurses die On the altar of your brexit myth But the lack of plan b seems to suggest to me That you should step aside now – Forthwith
People are dying and dying alone And that will live with us for generations to come Your lies are enabling this shame to persist And for many more people to succumb
Illness or not You Bullingdon chancer You cannot escape this You have questions to answer
So we’re digging mass graves here in England And there’s no sign it’s stopping just yet So please let’s support our key workers And remember we’re all in their debt
But the maddening saddening tragical truth And the thing which should fill you with shame Is that you’re too busy lying and spinning to see That it’s sadly no longer a game