Boris Johnson

032 – Parliamentary Palaver

yellow concrete cathedral under sky

Parliamentary Palaver

All this palaver would make much more sense 
For a new government, there’d be some defence 
But this isn’t that.  

This is a government who promoted this bill
Who broke UK law to avoid scrutiny of this bill
This is the outcome of that.  

They won an election championing legislation
That now they pretend was not of their creation 
There’s no excusing that.  

This is an idiot. Arguing against himself. 
That’s it.  No rhymes, no jokes, no punchlines.  
Stop him.  He’s a twat.  

(c) 2020 The Sixty Second Scribe

031 – Six Appeal

pexels-photo-2249533.jpeg

Six Appeal

Six people.  That sounds nice and easy.
The rules are now clear once again!
That doesn’t apply when at work though
Or at school, in a church, or a plane.  

I don’t understand why family and friends
Are the clear and predominant dangers
And are apparently more of a threat to me
Than my colleagues and massed unknown strangers.  

If a choice must be made between family and work
Then I’ve got the answer – a winner
I’ll just work from home, say bollocks to Pret
And have a big family Christmas dinner.

(c) 2020 The Sixty Second Scribe

012 – Where’s Johnson?

compass on hand

Where’s Johnson?

Trump is unravelling before us
There’s no speeches weirder than his
But the American’s have an advantage
They know where their lunatic is.

So please fellow citizens assist us
Please help find our blustering caesar
Check out your kitchens and garages
Case he’s trapped in your fridge or your freezer. 

(c) 2020 The Sixty Second Scribe

029 – He Turned

group of people raising hands silhouette photography

He Turned

I’m standing applauding your u-turn
You’re doing what’s good and what’s right
Though denying you had to be dragged here 
Does not seem to be all that bright

You had a good chance to be humble 
To show that you’re open to change 
But to try and pretend this was always your plan
Seems more than a little bit strange 

I know, you’d be pounced on by idiots
But they’ll do that whatever you do
It’s those with more sense need to trust you 
And to know what you’re saying is true

You’re pushing us into a corner 
Where we’re doubting each thing that you say 
So for christ’s sake admit when you’ve screwed up
Our mistrust then, might start to allay.

(c) Michael Gurner – May 2020

018 – This Is Not Accidental

person in black pants lying on brown cardboard boxes

This Is Not Accidental

Prepare the detail, then make the announcement
Not make the announcement, and then have to say
We’ll explain all the detail a little while later
So confusion then reigns for the following days

The voice in your head shouting out loud and clear
Asking ‘how can they get this so wrong?’
Needs to pause and consider that all your confusion
Is just what they want all along.

This cannot be accidental.  It can’t.
So what is the purpose not stated?
It has to be there to distract us from all
Of the hideous mess they’ve created

While we try to define what they want us to do
We’ve stopped asking how we got here
And why we should trust just whatever they mean
When and if that should ever become clear.

(c) Michael Gurner – May 2020

008 – Compare and Contrast

black board board game checkerboard

Compare and Contrast

At each of the briefings the graphs have been there
The message came through loud and clear 
Comparing ‘gainst countries who aren’t doing well 
They’re far worse off there than us here

Ministers and experts comparisons drawn 
To highlight how great we have done
See how we are better than others out there
It showed how our battle’d been won

But now graphs show starkly we don’t compare well
Our spluttering leaders decide 
Comparing ‘tween nations is no longer safe
So we should dismiss all their slides

(c) Michael Gurner – May 2020

007 – Johnson Junior

baby in blue blanket

Johnson Junior

Hold the front page – have we got some news
Put target concerns far away
Hard to believe – trust us it’s true
A baby was born here today 

I’m raising a glass to the talented lad
He’s clearly remarkably clever
He’s got into Eton, and oxford as well
Proof that we’re in this together 

(c) Michael Gurner – April 2020

005 – Johnson Returns

cheerful asian man raising arms in excitement on sunny street

Johnson Returns

Revel, rejoice, in his resurrection 
A miracle for our troubled age
Alexander, escaped from Hades’ clenches
To bring forth guidance wise and sage 

Proudly proclaiming that as citizens all 
We are ‘Looking at our apparent success’
Although just how he comes to measure that
Is as usual, anyone’s guess

The chasm between reality and spin
Too wide for Knievel to bridge
Let alone a buffoon who’s standard response
Is to run off and hide in a fridge.

(c) Michael Gurner – April 2020